Trouble saying “no” whenever someone at church asks you to help out? To a family member or friend’s endless requests for help? Feel like no good deed goes unpunished lately? As the holiday season looms, demands will pile on. Fatigue and weariness can start to set in, along with discouragement.
I think it’s normal to feel burned out, even when you’re doing the Lord’s work. When you do, it’s a good time to pause, reflect, and seek Him. Maybe He wants you to take a break from all the “doing” and just spend more time resting in His presence (prayer, meditation, scripture, praise music). It’s okay to say “no” when you’re feeling pulled in too many directions. You can break the news gently. If it’s a church-related matter, simply pray on it. If the Lord isn’t leading you to do it, simply share that with the person. I have found that the more honest and open I am whenever someone asks me to do something that I cannot fulfill, the easier it is to not take on guilt and discouragement. When I respond, “I’d really love to help, but I’m feeling a little overextended right now and will need to pass,” most of the time, people understand.
It’s easy to want to serve that people-pleasing spirit this time of year. Just make sure your desire to serve others comes from the Lord’s leading and not a personal desire to stay in the good graces of others. As someone who is working at shedding that people-pleasing spirit from my life, I can tell you that doing the latter will drain you and produce bitterness.
Last week, I stopped to see “Taco,” the homeless man who lives near my church. He was in rare form. As I approached him with breakfast and some cash to buy food for the week, He became irate and refused to accept help. When I offered to leave the bag with him, he picked it up and threw it. I retreated to my car for safety. I was alone, and he was clearly bothered by something. When I got to my car, I prayed for him and drove off.
I felt discouragement for all of five seconds before I cast it out in the name of Jesus. “Spirit of discouragement, you will not oppress me or my desire to help the poor. In the name of Jesus, go to the foot of the cross.” Then, I laughed. The enemy is really pathetic when you think about it. If he thinks a Sunday morning run-in with an otherwise kind homeless man is going to discourage me from continuing to help in the future, he’s seriously mistaken. I got so angry at the enemy (friends, we have to stop fearing him and start fighting him) that I made it a point to bless another homeless person the following day. My daughter happened to be with me, we were safe in a busy shopping center, and the man (who was upbeat and playing beautiful music for patrons) was gracious to accept the money from my daughter. “Take that, enemy!”
A family member used to keep the books at her church. I don’t recall details other than, at one point, there was a discrepancy in the accounting. When the church approached her about it, she took it personally. I don’t know if the church was accusatory, if my family member overreacted, or what actually went down. All I know is that after that incident, she never returned. She felt discouraged and underappreciated. To this day, she doesn’t attend a church. Very sad, because I think her generous heart would thrive in fellowship, a place of open worship, where she could also give back.
Friends, life is full of letdowns. Scripture tells us it will be. People will hurt us. But we are to forgive, stay in the right mindset, and continue to follow the Lord’s leading in all things. We can take breaks and rest, but we are not to give up!
And remember, your good deeds may backfire from time to time in the natural, but in the supernatural they are treasures tucked away in Heaven’s storehouse.
