Alrighty, then. Any thoughts or questions?!
I have one. “Um, like how on earth, Lord, do we bless those who persecute us? How do we do right by them when they do wrong by us?!”
Recently, a friend was describing a situation with someone who would be considered her enemy. After sharing a recent struggle with the person, she said, “I wish she would ____.” You can fill in the blank, but it wasn’t good.
Her response wasn’t good, folks. She’s a Christian, too.
Doing this is far from easy. If you’re struggling, rest assured that you’re not alone. Just when I think I’ve mastered this Christian life lesson, someone comes along, hurts me badly, on a day that my hormones are feeling feisty, and it takes all my might to exercise self-control, turn my cheek, and say nothing. When I do that, I feel victorious in Him. But then when the Holy Spirit whispers, “Don’t forget to bless and pray for them, Tara,” I’m like, “Yeah, sure, whatever, okay, Lord. If you say so.” Depending on the severity of the wrong, sometimes it takes me a few days (or longer) to process feelings/emotions before I get to a place where I can forgive, extend grace, and pray for them. It doesn’t always happen instantly. I have to work at it.
The thing is, the quality of our relationships (especially when the hurts we experience are inflicted by friends and family) won’t improve unless we do what the Lord asks of us. If we want things to get to a better place, we must forgive, pray for the person, and ask the Lord to bless him/her. Look at it as an investment in your relationship and your stress levels. Things might actually improve over time as you begin to pray for the situation.
I have found this to be the case most times. Yes, when we start to really pray for a person (relationship), we may see an uptick in problems. Sometimes the enemy comes after the situation strongly when we start to pray, but that eventually subsides if you persevere and stay in faith. Down the road, we usually see the Lord do some really great things through those hardships. I have seen this in some of my relationships.
Now, if you thought mastering this Christian life lesson was hard enough, get this. We have got to teach this to our kids. We have to train them up in the way of the Lord (Prov 22:6). Just think of how adept they’ll be at navigating relationships if we show them how to do it at a young age. They won’t struggle as much as we do!
I’m teaching my four-and-half-year-old the blessing of biblical conflict management. A little boy at her preschool is being disruptive in class and bullying several kids, including her. Over the course of two weeks, he scratched her face, twisted her arm, and spit on her. Oddly, I was calm each time she shared an incident, and I thank Jesus for that. My husband, not so much. He was angry, wanted to take it up with the school immediately, and even confront the kids’ father.
After several inquiries made by parents (including my husband and I), the school is handling the matter. The little boy has settled down some in the last couple weeks. My husband did not confront the father. I have encouraged all three of us to keep the little boy in regular prayer. When Lily told me last week that the little boy spit in his hand and then held his fist up at her, I reminded her to immediately tell the teacher, then pray. I told her that she can pray for the boy (in her heart) or out loud. I also told her to put her hand up whenever she is accosted and declare, “Jesus says stop.”
Yesterday, Lily came home and said that she and the little boy played well together.
Parents, we have to remember that all battles on earth are born out of the spiritual. For every earthly problem, there is a spiritual solution if we’ll pause, check in with the Holy Spirit, and avail ourselves of it. It may not be the advice our neighbor gives, or provide immediate gratification to our flesh, but it is sound wisdom from our father in Heaven who always has our backs and knows what’s best for us.
